It's been a minute.
Honestly? I forgot I even had this blog. I actually got on blogger because I needed to write and was going to make a new blog, only to find THIS blog from less than a year ago. It's like summer happened and completely erased my memory. I need to write because life is hard and I need to tell someone. My son was diagnosed with PANDAS a few weeks ago and is on heavy antibiotics. It was the first time in a long time that we had hope. But things seem to have gotten worse. He screams. He screams so loud it hurts my ears. It has to hurt his vocal cords. He screams so loud and right in our faces. He must know there will be a reaction. He must want a reaction, but he can't possibly want the anger-fueled and uncontrollable anger that I give him in these moments. I wish I could see into his brain and know what is setting him off when he is mean to his brothers. When he seems to take a turn toward being vindictive and spiteful for no reason we can see. He went from just b