Friendship

My friend might be moving.  I am the one that can come and go, but I expect my friends to stay put. Do I realize that this is unfair? Sure. Do I care? No.

There was a season (2.5 years to be exact) when we first got married that it was particularly difficult for me to make friends.  I had a few "friends", but I constantly felt like I was trying to hang on to them with my tightest/friendliest grip.  I felt left out of everything and like I couldn't find a Tiffany-shaped hole available in which to cram myself into their lives.  I remember one particular afternoon - throwing myself down on our new leather couch in the new-to-us old house we had just purchased in the neighboring city - and lamenting through tears why I wasn't invited to a friend's baby shower when everyone else was.  It was a low point.  And a turn-around point. Because that moment marked a time when this friend walked right into my life and declared that she might have a Tiffany-shaped hole for me to fit into. 

It was an easy fit - a secure fit. It has survived the interruptions of divorce, moving overseas, job changes, adoptions, infertility, babies, a PHD, an MFA, and even a summer together in San Francisco. And now, 12 years since we became fast friends, she is moving.  Correction - she might be moving. (She's definitely moving.)  Because now it is her turn for adventure, which leaves me here without her.  It is okay.  It will be fine. (My husband has mentioned that he is already mentally and emotionally preparing himself for my demise.)

But I'm so proud of her.  I know I have been accused of having one foot out the door - very few things tie me to this place.  But she did.  Now I will need to find a new tether to take her place, and I am suspicious of finding it in another person.  As I am deciding to put down roots, she is filling her hot air balloon for flight. 

To adventure.